Bathroom Break

So I have a phobia of public restrooms. So dirty and smelly and I want to use a whole bottle of hand sanitizer. I will avoid them at all costs even holding my bladder for hours if it means I can make it back to my own safe bathroom. So how did I end up with two kids who are obsessed with public restrooms? Everywhere we go the first words out of their mouths are "I have to pee!" I take them to the bathroom and all they really want is the novelty of seeing the room. They sit and "try" to go and then say "It's just not coming out. Guess I will have to try later." They then take a little tour of the bathroom, peeking under stalls (to my horror) and commenting on how pretty the sink is or how is smells. Only once in a long while is the bathroom trip a legitimate one.

We took a road trip this weekend and of course I can't expect the kids to hold their pee just because I am afraid of truck stop rest rooms. Half way to our destination, London had to go and if London has to go then Pyper has to go. I drag them all the way to the back of the gas station and we finally make it to the bathroom where there is a line. Awesome, I love to stand in line in the bathroom with little kids that have to touch everything. A stall opens up and, yes, I make all three of us go into one itty bitty stall to play musical toilet because I am horrified of someone taking my kid. London goes first, complaining the whole time that this toilet is dirty and she is too old to have to share a bathroom stall with us. Pyper goes, and then I go, because I am already there so might as well. London keeps trying to open the door and get out while I am sitting there half naked, so I am leaning forward to push on the door with one hand and the other hand is swatting Pyper away from the little garbage can on the floor that she is suddenly obsessed with. The whole time I am thinking "Why couldn't I have boys? Then Kevin would get to enjoy all these fun bathroom breaks."

We finish up and we head out to wash our hands. Pyper has to do everything herself so it takes quite awhile and then we push the button on the hand dryer. It is extremely loud. Pyper will not take her little wet hands away from her ears so I stick her whole head under the dryer which she is not a fan of. The other women in the bathroom are giving me strange looks and I am just trying to get out before their now clean hands are contaminated again.

I would like to say that this bathroom break was a little more chaotic then most, but this is pretty much our routine. We had almost the exact same experience on the way home except I got the handicapped stall. More room to move around, but then I can't reach the door when London opens it and I am half naked. I am looking forward to the day when they will also avoid public restrooms at all cost. I am on my way to passing on my phobia to the next generation.